I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. ” “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” He accused. His face changed and she saw, with a stab at her heart, the dawning of irritation in his eyes. Though nearly dark, there was still light enough left to enable him to discern surrounding objects. ‘You little fool! I’m a trained soldier with ten years experience at my back. John was acutely focused upon her now, just as she had wanted him to be. But this might be merely a figurative mode of describing his customary vigilance.
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