She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. She felt herself falling, her bile rising in her 61 throat, the cold wind spinning around her like vertigo. ” She laid her fingers upon his arm, and they both stood still. He sent me flowers. And Charcam, fearful of another charge in his master's present uncertain mood, disappeared. The grim mockery of it!—those South Sea loafers, taking advantage of Enschede's Christianity and imposing upon him, accepting his money and medicines and laughing behind his back! No doubt they made the name a byword and a subject for ribald jest in the waterfront bars. ‘He’s already spoken for, Melusine.
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